Homophobia

              According to wikipedia.com "Homophobia is defined as an "irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals, or individuals perceived to be homosexual; it is also defined as, unreasoning fear of or antipathy toward homosexuals and homosexuality...".
              When it comes to this subject, I feel like people choose to be this way. No one is born homophobic. And it is definately not like other phobias. Like I could understand if you have arachnophobia, which is the fear of spiders. This means you can't even be around this little insect. That is understandable, but when you can't be around a certain individual because of whom they sleep with at night which is none of your business is just plain ignorant. In some dictionaries homophobia is described as a fear of homosexuality or homosexuals, which again to me is stupid, because 1. You shouldn't fear no one except GOD. 2) How do you fear someone's lifestyle.

               I feel that homophobia is something that is embeded into someone's mind as a child so that they think if their around someone who lives this lifestyle they will eventually turn into "one". FALSE!!!. Others feel better when they build hatred for gays because deep down inside they may feel something for the same sex, so they feel if they bash them it won't show their true feelings. Like, i've known numerous straight females who said things like: "I hate gay people, their nasty", but it be the same ones talking to my lesbian friends couple months later. All they need is one person to change their mind about their perception.

            Homophobia also becomes a serious issues when one becomes violent toward oneself. Every year there are many suicides by gay men and lesbians, usually teenagers. Psychologists say it's not because of homosexuality, but is actually the result of how homosexuals are treated by society. When someone lives day by day being bashed, critized or judged, and society discounts one's value constantly, it can become hard to maintain perspective and realize that the problem is others' perceptions, not one's own, which is why suicide is several times as common among gay men as it is among straight men. The world can become very lonely.
             Gay people are human beings. So you shouldn't fear them. 

PDA!?!

             When you walk down the street, you see two men or two woman holding hands .You make a double take. Why is that? I see it on campus all the time. Yes it's absurd and not accepting, but why should they be judged. I think as long as two heterosexual people are allowed to hold hands so should a homosexual couple. The world can stomach that.
             But what they can't stomach is two homosexual people making out. Me being a homosexual person, even i think that is extremely too much. People hardly want to see heterosexual people make out. Gays have a tendency to be more dramatic, which leads to public affection. Some homosexuals like to be the center of attention.
             When I worked in the village, which is a very gay part of Manhattan in New York City, I seen that all the time. Old women would be in there eating and 2 men would come in and start showing extremely too much attention. This would actually cause them to leave or the women would say something to them and it would cause a major arguement. This made me feel some type of way. This time around I couldn't support "my people" because they were out of hand.

      So how do you feel when you see PDA from a homosexual couple???

What Is This Feeling?

        Not everyone is considered homosexual until they act upon their feelings. Lots of people are confused when it comes to this question. Some may feel they are because they look at the person of the same sex and they think they are pretty/handsome. That is not the case at all. Now if you were to approach this person and give them a kiss and you felt aroused then its another story.

         Only you can know if you are attracted to the same sex. And the only way to find out FOR SURE is to have a sexual encounter with the same sex. If you do it the 1st time, its an experiment, if you do it the 2nd time, you might say, the first time you were in shock and in disbelief so all of your feeling wasn't in to it. Now if you go back the 3rd time, YOUR GAY!!!!...(that is what I think). But you know your body more than anyone.

Here are some clues in case you don't wanna go all the way just yet:

1) Think back to when you were younger. What crowd would you relate to more?

2) Maybe you just like both.( that is if you were turned on by the same sex but still crave the opposite.

3) Think about, which gender crosses your mind in the middle of intimacy or when you have sexual thoughts (everyone does).

Don't Ask Don't Tell

            During his presidential campaign, Barack Obama advocated repeal of the policy to allow gay and lesbian people to serve openly in the armed forces, agreeing with General Shalikashvili and stating that the U.S. government has spent millions of dollars replacing troops expelled from the military, including language experts fluent in Arabic.

           The military has a strict policy about being openly gay. According to wikipedia.com, Don't ask, don't tell is the common term for the policy about homosexuality in the U.S. military mandated by federal law, the policy prohibits anyone who "demonstrate(s) a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts" from serving in the armed forces of the United States, because "it would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability."

          This is place that says, Be all that you can be. I guess you can be everyting except yourself. You go to the military to serve your country nothing else, but you do have a personal outside the military, so why can't you date whoever you want openly. From my understanding if you get caught, you are discharged. Why should the military care who want to sleep with at night, just like its no one else's business. Am I right??

On Tha Low

           For the past couple of years, there has been a epidemic, which is "on tha low" or "down low/DL guys". Well the the word downlow/DL means to keep things on the hush hush or private. Then the second part of the phrase is the behavior of men who have sex with other men as well as women and who do not identify as gay or bisexual.
           Ok, so I know your thinking, "what the h*ll?". But yes people they are out there. These men cheat on their wife/girlfriends with other men. They don't tell their spouses a thing. They live a double life in most cases. They may even have a family at home, but they may sneak out and tell their wives or girls that there going to the bar with their boys, but little do their wives/gf's know, they are about to go shake their butts at a gay club....lol... This term has been associated with African American men the most.
          The messed up parts are that they are cheating, then it just happens to be a man..smh. Lastly the most hurtful part out of this little escapade is that they can bring back HIV/AIDS to their innocent wives/gf's that had no idea about this other life of theirs.
           The issue captured wide media attention in the early 2000's after articles on the issue were reported in newspapers like The New York Times. These reports showed America the correlation between the spread of HIV to straight African-American women by their down low partners.

           In 2004 an author named J.L. King, appeared on Oprah to talk about his life on the down low. He latered published a book called On the Down Low.

Justice for Gay Hate Crimes!!!!!

Everyday someone is bashed for being homosexual. These are what you called gay hate crimes. This is very serious. Even though people are a little more accepting of LGBT community. Gay & lesbian hate crimes continue to rise. Imagine walking to the store and you get harrased because of the clothes your wearing or even the way you walk. And while they are beating you, your getting called every gay slur there is.
        According to http://www.about.com/, "The federal hate crime laws do include the term "sexual orientation." As of July 2004, seven states have no hate crime laws at all, 20 states have hate crime laws that do not protect sexual orientation, and 24 states have hate crime laws that do include sexual orientation."

             What that means is that if someone commits a federal crime against a person because of their sexual orientation, this crime can be called a hate crime. However, if the crime is not a federal one, then it may only be considered a hate crime if it occurs in one of the 24 states with hate crime laws that include sexual orientation.

      Some good news out of all of this is About The Federal Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2009:

The Federal Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2009 (H.R. 1913) passed the U.S. House on April 29, 2009 by a vote of 249 to 175. The bill expands 1969 federal hate crime laws to include sexual orientation, gender expression or identity and disability. Previous hate crime laws gave the Justice Department authority to prosecute crimes motivated only by race, color, national origin and religion.
The Federal Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2009 was first introduced in 2007. The bill, sponsored by Representatives John Conyers (D-MI) and Mark Kirk (R-IL), passed by a vote of 237 to 180..........(read more at http://gaylife.about.com/od/hatecrimes/p/matthewshepard.htm )

So You Wanna Come Out??

         Coming out is one of the hardest things you can ever do. I remember when I was 16 and I told my mother. It didn't go so well. I remeber texing her and telling her I didn't like boys. She said: "Are you sure?". Then later when she came home, I stayed out of her way. But she stayed in her room until the following night. That is when she called me in her room and said, "so what is the problem?". Before I answered, I seen all the tissue that surrounded her bed, so, I knew I had upset her. I began to tell her how, I didn't find guys attractive. She began to cry and cry, then said: "you could've least told me you wer bisexual, but gay (as she shook her head). Its not right!!..Even the bible said it's not right!!". Then the words I was dreading came out her mouth, " i'm not accepting it". I knew from that point on our relationship would never be that same, because me being a lesbian was a big part of my life. My mom and I relationship has always been close, but that would be the one thing I wouldnt be able to talk to her about. I told myself I won't bring it up again until I was financially stable, with my own place.


Now my dad, was easy. I told him over the phone and he said he would never judge me. And that year he even took me to Gay Pride in NY.


It can be hard and nerve wrecking but I wanna share some tips with you guys that might help you come out the closet to a loved one:


1) Take them out to dinner ( they won't act too crazy in public).


2) Make it intimate. Don't text or call over the phone.


3) Get ready to be asked some questions.


4) Get ready to be yelled at and even cursed out.


5) Bring a friend with you for support.


6) Get ready to talk very personal, even about sex.


7) Give them a book/ pamphlet or a website they can go to. They may want to understand more.


8) They might become distant for a couple of days and even weeks.


9) Worst case scenario, they kick you out, make sure you have some where to stay for the night or even a couple of nights.


10) Worst case scenario, if you have older parents or were raised by your grandparents. They may have a heart attack or they might pass out. It is possible.


Just understand this news is life changing and everyone wont take it nicely.


Here is a website of some openly gay celebrities.

Bisexual???

                The definition of bisexual is someone who is sexually attracted to both men and women, or engaging in both heterosexual and homosexual activity. I personally think that once you can get aroused by both sexes then you should be considered bisexual. Heterosexual people may look at this lifestyle and think this person is promiscuous. To that person they may think that they just don't have a preference. Bisexuality is a controversy in the homosexual world.Many homosexuals probably won't date a bisexual person for the simple fact that they are scared they might cheat on them.
                 Despite the fact that others won't accept it. You have parents that would rather hear that their child is bisexual as appose to homosexual, because there's still hope for grandchildren...lol

                  Bisexuality is also more seen in women that men. To me, men can't be bisexual. Any activity that they engage in with men, is considered gay. At the end of the to society your still all wrong and your apart of the LGBTQ (Lesbians, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered and Queer) community.

                  So the question is, who is considered bisexual really? Is it the girl that kisses other girls at the bar when she is drunk? Is it the one that likes affection from her female friend or is it that guy that sees another guy at the basketball court and thinks he looks good in his shorts.
                 The article I found was very interesting it was by Kathy Labriola, she is a counselor/nurse. She explains the different kind of bisexuals there are, from motivational to emotional and others. You will be surprised....maybe your bisexual...lol.

Are You Born Gay???

             I remember one day in high schoool, a group of my close friends were talking. The hot topic of the conversation was whether people are born gay or is it a choice they make in their lifetime. I never commented on anything  that day, but the reason I didn't was because I didn't know. I was always thought to my myself that no is 100% straight and no one is 100% homosexual. I think that we choose to act upon our feelings, which are then determined by society. Which in my case is "labeling" someone.

             I recently found a article that explained EVERYTHING!!!. It shows genetic studies and etc. It's a issue that is a big debate. See if you understand!

Why Dress The Way You Do?

                 I know some heterosexuals wanna know why do lesbians and gays dress the way that they do. You see masculine women looking like men. Then you have the flamboyant men, wearing tight jeans and feminine looking shirts. Lots of heterosexual people never understand why they dress similar to the sex they are not attracted to. Straight people think that they want to be the opposite sex and that is why they despise them.
                 This has a lot to do with the role they may play in the relationship that there in. As far as you can remember men are the masculine figures and women are the submissive ones. So, in some lesbian relationships, you have the butch/stud women. They play the role of the man in their relationship, so they would mostly be wearing The submissive women are called fems. Some masculine lesbian women might claim, this is what they feel comfortable in, which might be true.
                  Now when it comes to men, they kind of got it worst. To act flamboyant is one thing, but to dress the part of a female or similar to is not that accepting to society. Most gay men wear clean cut, more fitted attire as appose to straight guys that aren't really particular about their clothes. I think that gay men care so much about how they look because of who they are trying to attract, which are usually the masculine men.

Some Parents Just Don't Understand!!!!

              Parents usually never understand their children. Now imagine a parent who has a homosexual child. That has to be one of the most uncomfortable situations to be put in. Lots of parents blame themselves and think they did something wrong in raising their child. They feel isolated and confused about everything. Parents try their best to raise their child, so when their children hit them with the news, all these emotions arise. Some cry, some scream, so just want to get away. 

               I feel like the only way to deal with the news from your child, is to sit down and talk with them. They want to hear that you love them no matter what. Most homosexual people do not choose to be this way, so support would be great.These are feelings they can not control. Just how its 2nd nature for you to like the opposite sex. So when you discuss this lifestyle with them, you guys can become closer. Let them tell you their life and so forth. Parents can even get some books to read or go online and Google some things.

              Communication is key between parents and their children. Parents shouldn't think of their children as dinosaurs or aliens, just become supportive even if its something you don't like. Let them know that you don't want to see them being affectionate with their partner, but you will be by their side no matter what. At the end of the day, you gave birth to them and you won't disown them for what they do behind close doors. Its no ones business, not even yours.

               Some alternatives that can help you through these rough times will be some support organizations for parents. There is a popular one called PFLAG ( Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) . They have 500 chapters all over the United States. This organization can be really helpful to parents that just don't understand, but want to get closer to their homosexual child. It isn't that hard people. It's a new day and age. And children are more open-mined to a lot of things. Yes, the bible says its wrong, but parents aren't perfect either.

Can Homosexuals and Heterosexuals be Just Friends?

             Heterosexuals wanna know if they can befriend a homosexual. The answer is yes.Straight men and women have this thing where they think all gay men and women want them. Which is usually not the case at all. You gotta look at it like this, everyone has a preference and type. Just like you dont like that guy because he doesn't have muscles. The same way a gay/lesbian won't like you because your too short. Just because a homosexual prefers to sleep with the same sex doesnt mean they are attracted to every person in that sex.

              Or maybe im wrong, and straight people have had bad experiences with gays.Or they were taught that just because their lifestyle is wrong, I don't want to have ANYTHING to do with them...smh.. But I feel like you should give them a try because you might have more in common than you think....well minus the lifestyle and who you sleep with at night..lol...But a lot of the reasons that straight men don't like to be friends with a gay man is because they can be very dramatic and outspoken and most straight men are laid back.
               When it comes to looking good, can't nobody help you out better that a homosexual man. Now you have the guys that befriend gays because they give them a sense of style (metrosexual).Now women are scared to be around other gay women because, they have this vision of a manly looking woman with a buzz cut out to get them. They have to come and realize that at the end of the day, they still have that time of the month like you do. They have some lesbians that just like to be surrounded by beautiful straight women because they admire them.
                I just want to say to every heterosexual that won't befriend a homosexual because they think they want to sleep with them....YOU ARE NOT ALL THAT....THEY DON'T WANT YOU!!!!....ever heard of a real friendship.

WTF Kanye???

       OK Ok...This is definately off topic but I just had to speak of it. Grammy Winner/Controversial Rapper Kanye West really messed up this time. During the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, while 19 year old country singer Taylor Swift was receiving her 1st award for "You Belong With Me" which won "Best Female Video", Kanye West interrupted Taylor's  Acceptance Speech by saying, " Im happy for you, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time". Taylor Swift stood there looking lost and and speechless, she didn't even get to finish her speech. This stunt that Kanye pulled even surprised Beyonce. MTV escorted Kanye West out the building.
       Now everybody wants to know, what the h*ll was on Kanye's mind. Prior to the show there are pictures of Kanye West drinking liquor on the red carpet. So was he drunk? Then others think that he was just being obnoxious and controversial like he always is. And lastly you have people thinking he's just being a ni%*er, which I think is extreme.
       There are many celebritites that think Kanye West took it to the extreme and are not so happy. For instance Pink the singer tweeted about how she felt on Sunday. One of her tweets called Kanye, " ...the biggest piece of sh*t on earth.... And later called him a douchebag. Other celebrities had some opinions as well about the situation.
        But the most surprising comment of them all was from the president of the United States calling Mr West a jack*ss. This incident was posted up by TMZ and was also tweeted by ABC but later yanked from Twitter. When it comes to that remark I think that was inappropriate from President Obama. Im sure that Kanye West voted for him, so that wasnt nice.
       Poor Kanye, what is he to do in this situation. He aplogized but some feel that is not enough. I think he needs to cool it for a while. Even though he speakes the truth....he did it kind of wrong....lol...funny guy!!!

What Is More Acceptable???

           OK....so im back with another question. What do you think is more acceptable to the media/community? Is it lesbians or gays? When it comes to media, especially on television they show more lesbian relationships. You hardly find gay(2 men) relationships. And if they do, it would most likely be on hardcore cable channels like Showtime, HBO, Logo. Like for instance Queer as Folk or a black homosexual show called Noah's Arc.But you can definately see 2 women "making out" on basic cable like MTV or VH1( A Shot of Love with Tila Tequilla or The Real World series. I think that is weird. Is being a lesbian more appropriate? Or is just out of the normal for society?

           For centuries men has always been looked at as this masculine figure in communities/media.So to see them in a relationship with another man comes off very different to  people.Gay men are often portrayed as flamboyant in the media, that is why it's less acceptable. I honestly think that women don't like to see guys being submissive because to them that is their role.

           That is why I think, just as much as they flaunt lesbian relationships they should also show gays. If its wrong, then its wrong. Dont show either. We shouldnt show favortism to a certain lifestlye or what the media thinks is "acceptable".

Is Being Gay Still Shocking????

Lately "coming out" is not as shocking as it used to be. I've noticed that people between the ages of 18-30 are actually more open-mined about this lifestyle than their parents. Long time ago saying that you even felt different was a crime. Of course there are some people that think the worst thing you can do. In some cases, households rather you kill someone or even come home at the age of 14 saying that your pregnant, rather than saying your a homosexual.

When it comes to a religious perspective, a sin is a sin. No sin is bigger than another. So I don't understand people when they stress the fact that it is wrong because the "bible says"...smh. I feel like SOMETIMES the media portrays homosexual so that people are afraid of them..well older people. But then you have people like Rosie O'Donnel and Ellen Degeneres. The media can't get enough of them.

So I need to know, is it still a big issue to older people because that is what was instill in them? Or are they afraid of change and a world of corruption?

And why is it more understanding to teens and adults? Is it because we are more surrounded by it?

CHECK OUT THIS ARTICLE ABOUT GAYS IN THE MEDIA:

http://writing.colostate.edu/gallery/talkingback/issue1/brandsma.htm